Manly Issue # 4 - Who DAT... Just Another Fan.

With the recent passing of a television classic, Jersey Shore, I thought it only natural and poignant to make a comment on it’s fashion namesake… the “jersey” (that, and it was requested by fellow blogger, Adam).  Of course, the members of the Jersey Shore did not sport too many jerseys, but they had their moments.  So let’s pay tribute to and never break the "jersey rules".

There have always been three bases of thought when it comes to appropriate jersey-wearing (outside of being the athlete, of course):  As a fan at a sporting event; as a clothes-less sole doing laundry/chores; and as a hip, fashionable sports fan with a flare for the vintage.

But unfortunately, I am here to burst all three of those thinking bubbles.

Mass Confusion in the Arena – Whether at home or in the stadium/arena/field rooting on your favorite team, you are probably donning your favorite jersey of your favorite player. 

When wearing a jersey, this implies we are playing the sport.  A jersey is worn to: provide consistency between players and teams;  offer a certain amount of cover and grip to shield from elements (baseball) or lack of cover and extra room for movement and flexibility (basketball); and identify who you are.

As a fan wearing the jersey, we are doing none of these things.  We are wearing a replica of someone else’s jersey.  Sure we are fans and we appreciate what the athlete is doing, but there are much better ways to show our support than wearing an oversized look-alike.  Hell, people may even confuse us for the athlete (us and another thousand fans), and we do not want to take some of that shine away.  Essentially, we look like a little kid, swimming in fabric.  I don't think that's the message we need to send when watching our weekly game.  So stay away from the jersey, leave it to the athlete.

Throw it Down to Class it up – The jersey has gone the same fate as the sweatpants and slippers.  They were once considered only around-the-house items, never to be worn in public.  Slowly and without notice, these items began to drift into the supermarket, then into retail locations, then (and ever so subtly) into every social scene (I mean, EVERY). 

We buy these items as comfortable wear around the home, whether doing chores or laundry.  We rationalize the purchase with one question, “Why get all dolled up when I'm just lying around the house?”  That I understand.  But then we got too comfortable with these items.  We started working them into our normal wardrobes, crossing the very thick line of human decency.  Better yet, we didn't just cross; we hopped, skipped, galloped, and tromped our way.  We have abused the comforts of the jersey, sweatpant, and slipper.  We must work these items out of your normal routine, and show the world that we care about how we look again.

I know we have all seen that hapless sole, strolling around the neighborhood Kroger in his Lebron jersey.  While in the midst of mentally ridiculing and humiliating the man, we remember that just last week, we were wearing the same thing.  Don't become a statistic, stick to a t-shirt.

Vintage-Retro-Throwback-Hipster-…Adding a word to make it cool again – I will give credit where credit is due on the vintage jersey.  Some men and women have done a pretty good job making the jersey work.  They’ve created a fitted, well made, structured shirt with all the same detail, fabric, and coloring as a conventional jersey.  These jerseys teeter on the edge of being fashion-forward, but yet, they just don't quite make it.

It’s still a jersey.  No matter how you twist it, design it, pull it, accessorize it.  It’s a jersey, meant to be worn by athletes, not regular people walking their dog or grocery shopping.  But you’re saying, “It’s a throwback, with a cool design.”  I hear ya.  It is a cool design.  And it is a throwback.  All correct.  (With that kind of logic, we'd be wearing all kinds of crazy things:  Full body armor remiscent of King Arthur, kilts, Uggs) 

But it’s sleeveless, displays a sport you don’t play, pays respect to an athlete you don’t know, and more often than not, is of a team you’ve never heard of. 

Buy a t-shirt with a cool graphic of the team you like.  Wear the colors of your favorite team.  Be an individual when it comes to representing and supporting your team of choice, no need to wear a replica.

And as a bonus, I've compiled a list of some of the best (and by best, I mean worst) examples of jersey-wearing the Internet has to offer:



A lot of things wrong with this... and unfortunately, I wouldn't say the jerseys are the worst of it.

 

We've all seen this person.  We all hate this person.  Don't be this person.

Nothing wrong with this.  If you see something wrong, you don't love America.  And you can get out.



Remember, it's ALWAYS a good idea to wear the long sleeve T when sporting that jersey.  Walk out of the house and remind yourself that there's just too much arm in this situation, add a little something extra. 



This must have been a fancy ball game.  She wore the jersey as a dress to class up the joint a bit.  I've got to say, she took a leap on this one.  I can only imagine that everyone was as impressed as I am.



Can't be mad at her... Can't be mad.



Magic?  My mistake, it's UrSHER.  Everybody say "Yeah, Yeah"... Better yet, say "No, NO"



I wonder if this would be considered the beginnings of a cult.  Don't drink the Koolaid, little one... What the Hell, go for it, that grape drink is solid.



Junior really let himself go... (Too soon?)



PSA:  This could happen to YOU!  Help prevent yourself from looking like a fool.
(unless that's what they were going for, and if so, good for them)

Until next time, be a man, dress and act like one.